So if you haven't friended me you can't read the journal, if you want to read it, than you'll have to add me on to your friends list. Sorry that's just the way it is....

The weather here in the NoVA area has been about 96F for the last three days with the heat index making it feel like it is 110F. On top of that it is humid, so the heat is the draining I don't want to move type of heat. I went out to the barn yesterday morning (not early enough I might add) and my horse was not in her paddock, not only that but the entire fence from the gate to the edge of the pasture was missing. I wandered back up the hill through the paddocks and there is my Posie standing there nickering my way and looking like she'd been through a rather bad scuffle. It turns out prior to the massive thunderstorms that rolled through on Wednesday she had torn apart her fence, kicked the crap out of it and tore it down. Now the only thing my trainer and I could figure happened was that she got stung by a bee/wasp at some point, because she had two or three massive bumps that looked like bee stings. In that case her reaction was definitely understandable. So now her right front is swollen again (partly from not being worked this past week and partly from reinjury) she's got cuts on her legs and she rubbed all the fur off part of her face trying to rub her halter off when she was put out in the pasture this week.

Yeah so mommy was crying yesterday, sat down in the barn on the tack trunk and bawled like a baby. I don't know if was the fact that Posie has had so many problems since she's been here or perhaps the weather, maybe me being a little stressed out but I was beside myself. My trainer felt awful and told me we would do whatever it took to make Posie happy. She's been nothing but supportive and comforting over the past few months and more than a little accomodating of my mare. I should note that knocking down fences happens at our barn and we have several horses who occasionally kick out and break a board, but usually not an entire fence. So the fencing isn't the main issue, we've now moved Posie into the main barn with the other horses (previously she was out with her own paddock and run-in stall), which she loves. She really is loving the extra attention and appreciating all the treats and the fact that she has her own fan when it's so hot. We're going to play it by ear and see how she responds to being up there. She is alpha after all and never gets turned out with the other horses because she doesn't play well with them. However after much discussion we're contemplating pulling her shoes once her hoof heals up and trying some meeting over the fence turnouts with the other alpha mare...then if that goes well doing some gradual turnouts with other horses. Of course these would all be supervised turnouts but we will see how it goes. That is months off though so for now she's in the main barn, until her stall/fence is fixed. One of the other horse owners said she's be happy to give up her stall and put her gelding out in the paddock/run-in to see how Posie responded to being in the barn. So it looks like we're just going to experiment with that for now.

The good news is though that Posie is holding her weight and is otherwise in excellent spirits. We're putting her into the lesson program full time in the next few weeks once she's healed up so that she can get worked more often. I think that will help her from being bored and perhaps she'll kick out less and stop breaking boards and costing mom money. Yeah so that's my update for now, I'm going out tonight after dark to see her and do some lunge line work with her so we'll see how she is moving then.

I got a phone call today, and when the first thing out of your trainer's mouth is that you should sit down, it's never a good sign. She told me the good news first, that Posie seems okay, now. I immediately sat down and tried to breathe, I could feel my chest tightening and my breathing getting more shallow as she spoke. She told me the vet came out today to work on Posie's teeth, and because of the extensive work that had to be done she sedated her. Apparently the drug used is a common sedation drug and within minutes of giving Posie the drug, she began having a seizure. She seized for over two minutes and when she came out of the spell she was still sedated but she didn't remember anything. Apparently the sedation is what they call a twilight sedation, where the horse doesn't remember anything when they wake up. Thankfully the vet was standing at her head when the seizures started and was able to help control Posie's thrashing so her injuries are minimal. The whole time my trainer is telling me this she was saying it was good that I wasn't at the barn simply because she was upset enough for both of us. I am so grateful that I have a wonderful vet, a fantastic trainer and an amazing horse. Posie is okay so far, she's eating normally but will be kept in a stall for another day for observation. She seems to be doing okay but we're going to have to run some blood tests to find out if there is anything more serious going with her.

I can say as a horsey mom I have never been more terrified and when I got off the phone with my trainer I was sobbing uncontrollably. I can only imagine what it's like having a child that gets injured. I can empathize only as Posie's mom but I have to say it's the worst feeling in the world.

I just found how much my potential loan repayments are going to be per month and seriously I'm broke already after paying all the bills and rent, so the idea of adding in another huge monthly payment on something makes me nauseous. I am still in my grace period though and will be finding out whether consolidation is a good option for me or not. Once that is done then I have the opportunity to do a graduated repayment plan or perhaps try to put my loans in deferment for another 6 months, just until we can get on our feet financially. It has been paycheck to paycheck living since we got here, but hopefully things will improve with hubby getting on the payroll with his company after all the training and waiting for his paperwork to come through. We certainly won't be rolling in any money but we might just be able to pay everything on time and have a tiny bit leftover each month. I'm telling you financial stress just sucks, there's not two ways about it.

In other news, the weather has been so cold that I had to buy Posie a heavier winter blanket to ward off the chills. I bought her a lovely Rhino midweight wug blanket, since she has a heavy winter coat and looks like a Wooley Mammoth. Actually her two fuzzy ears look like miniature pineapples if we're being honest. Anyway the weather has just been terribly cold and now I'm hoping it warms up so that I can actually ride again. The ground has been frozen and since we don't have a covered arena there is no way that I can ride her in the frozen/snow covered outdoor arena. She started getting iceballs packed into her shoes so I had to put Vaseline on her hooves so that she wouldn't get impacted ice chips in there anymore.

I'm trying to catch up on my letter writing but still a bit behind per usual. I can actually pay for postage to mail off some of the letters/packages that have been stacking up on my desk. I'm sure the pals will appreciate that.

*Smacks forehead on keyboard*

I'm so frustrated with this whole titling/registering a vehicle in Virginia thing. I honestly did not know how much freaking work it was really going to be. Sure I read the pages of documents required and have everything mostly in order but the amount of time I've spent working on this is ridiculous. Not to mention the hours I've sat waiting around at the DMV, hoping that I remembered all my damn paperwork. I used the requirements on their website as my checklist though so at least I'll go in semi-prepared to handle all the questions that will surely be coming my way. I'm just trying to get the titling and registration done today then Monday will have to register my vehicle in our locality. Fucking hell they basically want to know everything about you here.

On the upside, Posie is loving her new barn, which makes me happy. We did a ground lesson with my trainer yesterday and I really think it's going to help us in our relationship. Sometimes there is a respect issue between her and I and I really do think that this will aid us both in having more clear communication. I'm hoping to take more piccies while I'm out at the barn today.

I have to admit I'm not very happy about the condition of my horse but I have to admit if my mom left me alone for 6 weeks and was moved to a new home I'd be underweight and needy too. I went out today and nearly bawled my eyes out when I saw her. Her hooves are in serious need of a trim but unfortunately good farriers out here are hard to come by and the good ones aren't taking on new clients. This leaves me with a bit of a problem as she needs a good trim and new shoes and the farriers can only come out on their schedules. I did get a name referral from someone at the local Dover Saddlery tack store, which I managed to find my second day in town, yay me! So without further ado, here's Posie and I hope to god with me here she begins to fatten up and get better. She was good natured but I daresay she does need some serious TLC.

( Posie pics )